當成熟看起來像是愛：一個歸屬的故事 When Maturity Looks Like Love: A Story of Belonging

生命中的好The good in life

10/8号早上见面前很激动和期待，

On the morning of October 8th, I was filled with excitement and anticipation before our meeting.

很久没见到老师母BETH，看到89岁的她安稳温和但又很有力量。

It had been a long time since I last saw Teacher BETH. Seeing her at 89—serene, gentle, yet so strong.

她就像一条宽阔温暖流淌着河流，是我心中属灵的母亲。

like standing before a wide, warm, flowing river. She is a spiritual mother in my heart.

ELIZA2020年8月带我跟EDWARD认识老牧师夫妇BRUCE和BETH。

In August 2020, ELIZA introduced EDWARD and me to the elderly pastor couple, BRUCE and BETH.

认识他们是我一生很大的荣幸， 他们给我的感觉就像清澈温暖的灯塔。

It has been a tremendous honor in my life to know them. They give me the feeling of a clear, warm lighthouse.

他们是美国大教会牧者，刚开始我仰视他们和他们是有距离的。

As pastors of a large American church, I initially looked up to them with a sense of distance.

刚开始和老牧师夫妇见面分享我们的生活，他们也分享他们的生活点滴

In the beginning, when we met with the elderly pastor couple, we shared about our lives, and they shared snippets of theirs.

他们家里有一辆车如果各自办事，那就是单号牧师用车双号师母用车。

They had one car at home—if they had separate errands to run, the rule was simple: the pastor used it on odd-numbered days, and the pastor's wife on even-numbered days.

我听着觉得太棒了，这样很公平

I thought that was wonderful—such a fair arrangement.

他们也给我看他们的房子和院子。他们有两只狗，一个叫心肝，一个叫宝贝，是Eliza来中国前留给他们养的，他们会在院子遛狗，院子外面是白色的栅栏。

They also showed me their house and yard. They had two dogs, one named Sweetheart and the other called Baby, left with them by Eliza before she moved to China. They would walk the dogs in the yard, which was enclosed by a white fence.

因为爱他们，所以我家的院子外面都用白色的栅栏。

Because of loving them, I too put up a white fence around my own yard

2020那时我和EDWARD都生命很不成熟，我对丈夫常敌对。

Back in 2020, both EDWARD and I were quite immature in our lives, and I often felt hostile toward my husband

四个人一起见面几次后就调整为老牧师带EDWARD，师母带领我分别处理各自状况。

After several group meetings, the format was adjusted: the elderly pastor began mentoring EDWARD individually, while the pastor's wife started guiding me separately, each addressing our respective struggles.

和老师母的每次见面就像拼拼图，各自讲自己怎样的出生，从小家庭状况，怎样的信主，怎样进入婚姻，婚姻出现危机时怎样的面对。

My sessions with the pastor's wife felt like piecing together a puzzle. We shared stories of our births, our family backgrounds, how we came to faith, how we entered marriage, and how we faced crises in our relationships.

每次和老师母见面，我有很多很多的泪水，滋养了我的心田。

Every time I met with her, I shed countless tears—tears that nourished the soil of my heart.

见面感觉温暖和受滋养，但他们也是严格的。

The meetings always felt warm and nourishing, yet they were also structured with firm expectations.

每次见面都给我们留很多家庭作业，要在下次见面前写完发回他们。

Every time we meet, they assign us a lot of homework that needs to be completed before the next meeting and then sent back to them.

我记得印象很深的提问：

I remember some of the deeply impactful questions they asked:

如何不让过去的问题影响现在？

·How do you prevent past issues from affecting the present?

如果保持亲密？

· How do you maintain intimacy?

彼此财务和家庭财务有透明公开吗？

· Is there transparency and openness in both personal and family finances?

会在不同步和没一起定位定义的情况下做决定吗？………

· Do you ever make decisions without being aligned or without defining things together?

老牧师摔伤以后健康突然不好了，我当时想是不是就不方便再见面？但他们很乐意的和我们坚持定期见面。

After the elderly pastor’s fall, his health declined suddenly. I wondered if it might no longer be convenient to continue our meetings, but they were more than willing and insisted on keeping our regular sessions.

记得最后一次见他们，BRUCE非常开心说受伤后收到很多人问候和探望。

I still remember our last meeting—BRUCE was especially joyful and mentioned how many people had reached out and visited him since his injury

BETH还用手机调整角度，让我们看到BRUCE受伤的腿的情况。

BETH even adjusted her phone to show us the condition of BRUCE’s injured leg.

BRUCE回天家后，BETH同步给我们她的哀伤和软弱，过一段时间同步她深深的思念和她参加单亲小组疗愈，

After BRUCE returned to the Lord, BETH shared her grief and vulnerability with us. Some time later, she opened up about her deep longing and how she joined a singles' support group for healing.

一段时间以后再见到BETH的时候，她继续给我们鼓励亲近主传福音，并且同步给我们她的日程，她每周的几次查经小组和服侍。

When we met with BETH again after a while, she continued to encourage us to draw near to the Lord and spread the gospel. She also shared her weekly schedule with us—including her multiple Bible study groups and service commitments.

看到他们软弱的时候仍然是稳定的出现。

Even in their moments of weakness, they remained steadfast and present.

BRUCE和BETH是我们属灵的父母，我看到了美好的成熟婚姻图景，是我很羡慕和向往的，是我心中安全稳定美好婚姻的模板

BRUCE and BETH are our spiritual parents. Through them, I witnessed a beautiful picture of a mature marriage—one that I deeply admire and aspire to. To me, they represent the very model of a secure, stable, and beautiful marriage.

我在有机心田小组安全的土壤里面浸泡七年，现在是四人五脚一起走很得心力在成熟的路上。

For seven years, I have been immersed in the safe soil of the "Organic Heartland" small group. Now, walking closely together like four people with five legs, we are gaining strength and maturing step by step on this journey.

在我困境时回家，这个安全网接住我。让我的心重新在有机新田的家中被养育，安全稳定的依恋关系替代了惊恐的原生家庭旧的依恋关系

During times of struggle, returning to this community means being caught by a safety net. Here, in the home of Organic Heartland, my heart is nurtured anew. Secure and stable attachments have replaced the fearful old bonds formed in my family of origin.

感恩ELIZA建立有机心田，让我们可以生命被重新濡养慢慢成熟。

I am deeply grateful to ELIZA for establishing "Organic Heartland," where our lives can be nurtured anew and gradually mature.

感恩BRUCE和BETH美好的生命成为我们家庭生活的榜样。

I am grateful for BRUCE and BETH's beautiful lives, which serve as an inspiring model for our family.

雅歌1:4

“愿你吸引我，我们就快跑跟随你。

SONG OF SOLOMON1：4

Draw me after you， let us make haste